Pre-Treatment Thoughts

On December 6^th, 2016, I was working on a project after just having finished lunch at work, when I got the call from my gastroenterologist. Since I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in my junior year of high school, I had been getting routine tests to check on the progress I was making with my medications and to see if I had any signs of inflammation. During these tests, they would take a biopsy, which, for most people, was just a precaution that would always come back clean. On December 6^th, I was sitting in the middle of my cubicle when my doctor told me they found abnormal cells when they took the biopsy. Lymphoma cells.

The conversation we had is a blurry memory. After hearing words like “cancer” and “oncologist,” you can’t help but focus so intently on that that you miss the rest of the conversation. After I was off the phone with my doctor, I quickly told only my parents and my boss and left work for the rest of the day. It didn’t feel real for several days after the initial diagnosis. It felt like a weird dream where I could wake up any time and it would all have been in my head.

Reality finally set in the next week. I spent all day at the hospital doing a number of different tests to help officially diagnose me. And especially two days later, when I met with my new oncologist, nerves were at an all time high. Cancer, I found out that day, is an ambiguous disease. There are ways to check certain things, but no tests are 100% correct. There are always stipulations that can affect the diagnosis. Based off my PET scan and a negative bone marrow biopsy, my diagnosis was as follows:

Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma – Stage 3

(Cancer found in small intestine and lymph nodes both above and below the diaphragm.)

The most difficult part of the process before any treatment was the waiting. I had to wait 10 days after my original diagnosis before I was able to talk to my oncologist about my diagnosis. Then I had to wait 13 days before finding out the results of my bone marrow biopsy and starting chemo. Waiting gave me more anxiety than I have ever experienced in my life. But it gave me a chance to come to terms with my diagnosis and initiate my planning side. I am a planner, so the waiting gave me a chance to do just that. The first thing I did was buy a cute agenda. I immediately felt the need to write down my symptoms and track my progress somewhere permanent, which gave me a sort of control over one of the most uncontrollable diseases.

I have found that staying positive is the easiest way to cope with all of the changes. This blog is hopefully a place that will help me keep my positive attitude, keep everyone interested updated on my progress and thoughts as I go through chemotherapy, as well as shine a light on the troubles faced when a young adult gets cancer. I strive to be open and honest about my experiences, and I will be doing so through this blog. Feel free to ask questions or make comments along the way, my journey is yours to tag along on.